Crashing

This week has probably been one of the most stressful for our grade for the entire year... three major, grade-wide projects/essays all within a span of four days is not something any person can juggle well, no matter how much time they are granted.

Meanwhile, exams are in full swing. AP for most International and English students. IB for my school, and probably many other British, Australian, etc schools. We're at a place where life seems to crash down upon yes.

Yet, this is also the time when lack of motivation strikes us the hardest. We look too quickly towards the end, and drop off. We take a leap of faith, and usually, we jump too early.

So for those of you who are in the midst of what may be the equivalent of hell, yet, are lacking the motivation to stay on top of it, don't sell yourself short. You may end up crashing by looking too far ahead.

Paint This Sky

The world is messed up.

There's two ways one assumes this view. One is through the perspective of looking at things like political corruption, mass genocides and shootings, wars, crap like that. The person perspective.
The other is looking at things like how we're losing species at about a thousand times faster than ever before, we're quickly running out of legitimately green woods, and if this keeps up, we probably won't even have pure water anymore. The ecological perspective.

And sometimes, the two views are intertwined. I think the question though is this:
What caused this?

Without a doubt, the resounding answer is humans. But I think that it's not just us - I mean, we've lived for several thousands (and probably more) years, and our problems haven't been major until now.
The issue thus lies in our own human desires. We want so damn much in our lives. We have decided our primitive nature wasn't satisfying, so we want. We want to see whatever we can of this world. Live great lives where we know anything we want is at our finger tips. Maybe even get our names written in all the history textbooks.

But this want has stifled a larger part of our humanity. And if you want to know what I mean, try to find a night where you can get away from the world, a world that's messed up, a world with so much want. And when you're in a good countryside, or by a nice beach, or just somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of life, look up.

Look up and be marvelled by the same stars you might have marvelled about as a kid.

We have so many human desires, we've been sacrificing our ability to be amazed. And I wonder - are those with everything in the world capable of being amazed? Can they look past the satisfaction of their desires, and realize they've satisfied nothing that actually matters?

Let's Waste Time/Chasing Cars/Around Our Heads

We live in a world where time is our worst enemy.
As we try to understand this world, find meaning, and ultimately make something out of our time here, we race a clock that never stops ticking, never speeds up, never slows down.
I suppose the question then becomes, what to do? How do we spend the seconds, minutes, hours, days of our lives, trying to find meaning?
Because when we form good memories, we find a bittersweet taste in our mouth - the feeling that an experience was so good, we don't want it to end. Or bad memories, which taste sour - so horrible, it scars us, even if we want it to end.
And the clock keeps on ticking.

I think, though, that in our pursuit to find meaning in this life, we want to find meaning IN us. Not just what we are in the equation of life, but why we matter to us. Why am I important to myself?
So in the end, as ephemeral as these memories are, we want them - they give us volume, no matter the taste. We must take advantage of life as much as possible.
The clock keeps on ticking.

Shards

I initially did say that I would not be including writing anymore, but I think this poem has an important message I would like to give to anyone (plus, it's an easy way for me to get back into the swing of blogging).
To those in distress: have heart, for the experience will make you stronger than ever.

I am glass

No.

WE are glass

Glass humans in a world of blasting irons

Impacts coming from different things

Shame

Fear

Hatred

Lust

Greed

Selfishness

Pride

Distrust

Loneliness

And more

These impacts rock our world

And shatter our little glass bodies

Our pathetic little glass bodies

Shatter

And they become

Shards

The greater the impact

The smaller the shards

Some are very large

Some are like dust

But we can’t afford

To lose any shard

We try to rebuild ourselves

Take each shard

No matter how big

No matter how small

And put them all back together

We try to reconstruct ourselves

So we don’t see that it isn’t enough

We don’t realize

We are too

Weak

Scared

Angry

Upset

To even try

Because the shards are shattered again

Yet we spend so much time picking them up

We don’t realize that

They are fixed

Into a mosaic

Glittering

Beautiful

Luminescent

Colorful

Miraculous

Constructed before we even knew we would be broken

Now we stand

Reconstructed

In a new life

Because we are filled with amazing love

From a sacrifice on the cross

We have been given the chance

To be come amazing

To become amazed

To be a masterpiece

From broken shards.

City lights

We'll climb higher together and make this right

We'll stand at the top and shine in city lights

I made up these two lines up on the spot (at least, I think I did. If this is actually a copyrighted song, oops), and I think it really fits life nowadays.
We want to be the best. Always. But we will need help. Always.
Two is better than one. It always has, always is, always will be true. And basking in the glory of success is not something you want to do alone - you want someone there with you, if not to at least witness the monumental success.

A Farewell to Harm, part deux

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need,

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,

Stuck in reverse

Sometimes, you're hurt. Bad. So bad you want to cry and scream. So bad that you want to give up everything. So bad that you don't know anything, what's up, what's down.
Sometimes, you know that someone is suffering the same thing. Their life is in chaos, and they're suffering. They're lost in a sea of pain, a sea of no hope.

What would you do?

As of recently, I've been on both sides of the spectrum. Personal turmoil in my own life (particularly, issues with expectations and self-esteem) have caused me to become despondent. I was literally ready to just lie on my bed and rot.

On the other hand, two really close friends have been in deep trouble. I won't go into details, this isn't the place for that. But they are both in terrible situations.

And the tears come streaming down your face,

When you lose something you can't replace,

When you love someone but it goes to waste,

Could it be worse?

When everything seems lost, what do you do?
You do whatever you can so that everyone is free from their troubles. If you're suffering, you find someone to help. Sometimes it's a friend. Sometimes it's an adult. If it's your friend, be there to help. Offer them encouragement. Don't be afraid to hold back your love. But be ready to get more help when they need it.

Don't be afraid to help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Be both the person that cries on a friend's shoulder and the shoulder a person can cry on.

It can make all the difference.

Lights will guide you home,

And ignite your bones,

And I will try to fix you

A Farewell to Harm

After a month (or two) hiatus from blogging, I'm back. I could explain why I was gone, but it ultimately comes down to forgetting I had a blog.
First of all, Happy New Years everyone :)
Second, time to discuss some things.

I'll be shifting the blog's focus away from writing. Not that should be an issue, since I never did a good job putting the focus on writing to begin with. What that does mean though is that I'm terminating work on Ephemeral the story. You're free to still read it in the previous posts, but know I won't be actively updating it any more. The reasons come down to two things:

1. I don't know how to take the story now. I know two major plot points I want to hit, but that's it. I don't know how to get there in a way that will be satisfying.
2. I don't have interest in Ephemeral anymore. To be frank, it's not my best work, and it follows a really shallow and stereotypical plot (at least in my opinion).

That being said, if you want to continue reading my work, shoot me a message on Facebook (and I do mean on Facebook, because if I don't know you, it's not happening).

I'll get around to posting more. I'll write something maybe tomorrow, but just know that I'm back.

Once again, Happy New Years! :) Make 2014 good!