Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.
This maxim, often taught to children, is a parent's way of warning the child that they shouldn't react to provocative names and insults. But names sting. A lot.
Do you really know how much impact your words have? How do you know your harmless joke at the expense of a person is actually harmless to them? How do you know when you casually comment about someone's actions, they don't take it personally?
Society is incredibly naïve about the issues with bullying. As people, we don't do a good job of making sure the harmful words stays inside. And what's worse is that we don't understand how painful a sharp comment stings. Having your reputation stomped on is more painful then any amount of punching, kicking, and shoving.
Why? It demoralizes you. It makes you look like people dehumanize you and think that you're just a toy to throw around for their amusement.
And what do these smart alecks do when they realize you express your hurt about their words? They make things worse. They target you and find more ways to attack you with words. They enjoy your reactions, and think that they have the right to reap your emotions.
Why doesn't anyone do anything about this? Because people are amazingly good at hiding their hurt. Once the initial reaction passes, they stuff their hurt in a little barrel in the back of the attic of the heart, and pretend that the attic isn't there. But the barrel leaves a foul stench, one that lingers. But humans do a good job keeping their heart houses clean and smelling fresh, so that no one knows the biting smell of pain when they visit the heart house.
Sticks and stones break bones, yes. But if we don't realize names will and always will hurt, society can't do anything but just let that pain continue to collect.
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