Smile, Darling, Don't be Sad

This isn't going to be long, but I know it's true.

No matter whatever you tell yourself, or what others tell you, or what society tells you, you are an amazing person. You are beautiful in your own ways, and you have talents that are meant to be shared with the world. Most importantly, you may be judged by mortal standards, but God knows who you are and doesn't judge; he in fact made you just who you are because he loves you.

Never lose sight of yourself. Not for anyone's standards but your own and God's.

Don't Give Up (Song Interpretation)

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
~ Fix You by Coldplay

Originally, when I was painfully awaiting for November to come so I could do another song interpretation (note that down, song interpretation bimonthly), I had my mind set on a different song (I think Charlie Brown by Coldplay). And yet, after spending a week in Cambodia and seeing a country trying to recover from a complete political and economic devastation... well, this song popped into my head.

If you ever heard this song (which you might have, it's one of Coldplay's most famous songs), you'd probably already noticed that the song is a lot about recovering from some sort of suffering (and apparently, one that the protagonist is at fault for, but that's not my point). Previously, I used this song as part of my "Musicatherapy," and I can say that this song is surprisingly one of the most comforting songs I have. It give surprising empowerment despite it's low tones and heart wrenching lyrics.

Right, going off topic.

I think the main reason that this song came into my heart was after working with the Cambodian kids. And yes, they live in lives that could be better, they still have a reason to smile. They have a reason to stay hopeful. And we materialistic, self-centered (well, maybe not self-centered) Koreans have entered their lives and given them some good memories that they won't readily forget. And I guess even though they have suffered hardships just trying to live, we still gave them something amazing, something to be fond of.

So that's Fix You. A song with a simple message: "I will try to fix you." Take those words to heart. A heart to serve can and will make you do so much not just for yourself, but for those that you help.

Discovery Week

I'll be out of the country for a whole week, and won't bring my computer. So if you check my blog at some point, and wonder "Man, where the heck is this guy?" you know why there's no posts.
See ya'll in a week! :)

Ephemeral (story) update

Click me! Yays!
I realize it's shorter than usual, and that's because I've been having attention issues. I'll do my best to make these updates meatier, I promise.

Ephemeral (story) not-update

I technically have an update. It sucks. So I'm not posting it. I'll look over it the next week and see if I can improve it, but honestly, it feels too dry. Sorry.

Instead, have a video from FMA that has Mustang freaking out over dogs.
Click me.

What Sacrifice Can Cost

Sometimes, we don't know who in our lives will be out there to give up something for us. Make a sacrifice.
Almost never do we realize how much that sacrifice costs for that person.
I guess in a culture so used to greed and selfishness, it's hard to anticipate ANY form of sacrifice.
And yet, there are people that are willing to lay down their lives (or maybe just what matters to them; we don't always need to think big) for the sake of the ones they care about. I think there are plenty of big sacrifices in our lives already - our parents, our teachers. They have given up years to help make us wonderful people.
I think the ultimate sacrifice though is to give up our entire lives for someone that may or may not deserve it. Or maybe someone we don't even know. I find it awesome when people are willing to give up just a little to help people they don't know.
But can anyone give up their lives for someone they may not know, or even care about?
What would you give up to save someone that you don't know?

Blog redesign

I got really bored, so I just completely redid my blog.
...
...
...
Obviously, I'm joking.
But seriously, I did change some things. Most notable, you'll notice on the right hand side bar that I've now included links of other people's blogs that are cool (by which, I mean TWO, but the list will hopefully expand) and a link to my Deviantart. I also added a song reference as the blog's official song reference... but... I don't know.
This is where you readers that lurk and never comment get to get a say! I am on the fence between two possible phrases. Pick your favorite please by commenting!
Actually, don't. I decided on something besides the original reference, one that I think fits the idea of "Ephemeral" well ^^

The Gift of Giving

Thanks to Joon for giving me a link to 100 inspiration quotes, even though he misinterpreted my initial desires xD

Anyway, I began browsing through these quotes and found one interesting one:

"Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more." –H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I find this so applicable to my life. Honestly, nothing makes me more happy then just lifting someone's day. Whether it's through a small gift (like baked brownies, I'm looking at you Joan) or just an encouraging message, I love seeing people smile. And honestly, I don't give a damn if I don't get anything (unless I ask for it...). I just want someone there to find a way to make me smile.

So challenge of the day: find a way to make others smile, because it's one of the few gifts that keeps on giving.

Finally! An Ephemeral (story) update!

It's belated but whatever! Click me!
You'll notice that I now have split up the story into arcs based off of season (Parts 1-9 was Autumn, and we're now going into Spring). I plan to end the story at the end of the Spring Arc, so this means we're effectively a third of the way through!
I'll be trying to work on Ephemeral again... but no promises for the next few weeks. SAT and XC is beating me around a lot.
Cheers! ^^

When You Got to Scream

Academics. Extra-curriculars. Sports. SAT's. EE's. CAS.

One way or another, we all end up facing the same thing: stress. It's easy to feel panicky and like all is lost. I've felt it, you've felt it, I'm pretty sure everyone's felt it in some way.
But what to do when that stress builds up?
We humans are surprisingly good at trying to bottle up our hurt and try to look like nothing's wrong. We could be screaming on the inside, but people only see the smile on your face.
But we're only human. We can crack.
And when you need to scream (metaphorically or otherwise), what then? I think that there's someone out there you can confide in that can help you.
And maybe you should be out there to anyone that may needs a shoulder to cry on. Just don't forget to find a shoulder you can cry on if need be.

Giving up

"I totally failed."
"I did really bad."
"I bombed the test."

I hate, hate, HATE, the pessimism and defeatist attitude that's so prevalent nowadays. What the heck happened to the optimistic and cheerful times? IB happened, that's what.

In all seriousness though, many people that are in high school that I've met have a tendency to undermine themselves. And what bugs me more than the fact that those people are being so pessimistic to begin with is the fact that a good majority of those people have little reason to be concerned.

Why? Why are people so willing to write themselves off as failures? Does it set their expectations low enough to the point where success will permanently lighten them up? Is it maybe modesty - trying to make them appear not as smart as they are? Is it maybe to prevent themselves to look more loftier than they are? I doubt any of those are the answer. It all comes down to self-doubt - confidence is something that's lacking nowadays. But why? Is there even a reason? Even those that study for hours on end will think they aren't ready. What kind of paranoia is this? Are we accepting that we students are made to only constantly spit out grades?

Maybe this sounds ranty, maybe even hypocritical - I know I underplay my own talents a lot. But still, this defeatist attitude has got to change. Even if we can't get an A, we still have other things that make us amazing. Right?

Announcement regarding Ephemeral (The Story)

I've had a bunch of motivation slumps this week, and I've barely covered more than 200 words per day (instead of my usual 500 words per day). Part of it is motivation, but I also need time to think of the story. Most of the notable plot points that I've though of have been covered, so I now need to think about what happens next.
In short, I'll be taking a break from writing Ephemeral. I also have had an idea for a short story, and I think i'll take a bit of time to write that out and see how it turns out.
There won't be an update next Wednesday. Until then!

Ephemeral (Story) Update and DeviantArt

First and foremost, the obligatory update is here. I may take a break from writing Ephemeral for about a week in the near future, but I don't know exactly when. I'll announce it when that happens.

Second, I got a new DeviantArt. You can see my wonderful art there. By which I mean the same style seven times in a row xD But whatever, eye candy is eye candy. I may delve into pixel art since I've proven in one of my art pieces (which isn't on DeviantArt) that I am capable of at least very basic pixel art, but we'll see how that goes.

Enjoy ^^

Do You Love Me? (Song Interpretation)

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
~ Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Short, yet meaningful. Snow Patrol's song "Chasing Cars" is probably one of the most romantic songs I know. And by beautiful, I mean it in the way that it holds a lot of less than cheerful elements.
You see, the narrator hints A LOT at his doubt (Those three words/Are said too much/They're not enough) and is stuck in a way that he cannot communicate his inner feelings. And honestly, I think that's one of our biggest problems as humans. We aren't very good at communicating how we feel - we think that our message will be taken at a level that's extremely superficial. His doubt is also shown in the chorus, where he wonders if his affections are mutual - I mean, it's pretty darn touching, he's hoping that his lover cares to the point that she would join him.

It's a nice song, really. Brief, but beautiful lyrics. And a nice surreal feel to the instrumentals. See if you can forget the world with this song.

Youtube link of Chasing Cars

Ephemeral (Story) Update

So there's an update or something,

Read and comment as always. Thanks!

Masks

This may or may not be more of a rant than an actual philosophical rambling.

But I want to know - why do people feel the need to do so many rude and otherwise inappropriate things on the internet? I specifically refer to social networking sites: the ones I will be specifically addressing is ask.fm and Facebook - neither of which are actually bad sites, but have lead to a system of abuse that is partly (if not entirely) cyber bullying.

Now first, ask.fm. I'm sure a million people have addressed this (For those of you SFS people, I think Taylor had a long Facebook post addressing this very thing) but honestly, this site has produced a lot of ill-will comments. While I cannot doubt that some people actually post genuine, non-insulting questions, others are just outright degrading. And what's even more bothersome is that people think their anonymity gives them the right to unleash the nastiest things out there (for example, I've been called a waste of oxygen, and I think there was someone that was insulted for being so faithful). I don't know if people realize this, but putting on the mask of anonymity doesn't change the fact that it's so obvious how much your words sting.
Sticks and stones may break my bones. And words will ever hurt me.

Something less serious, is Facebook "frapings". It's another way of putting on a mask and insulting someone - albeit, less emotionally detrimental than the cyberbullying that flies around on ask.fm, but still enough to be embarrassing. To anyone that's clueless, when you "frape" someone, you basically get into their Facebook (maybe you got on their computer or something) and post random, embarrassing comments or send chats with similarly weird content. First of all, why the heck is this so funny? Fraping seems to be one of the most ubiquitous activities out there, and yet, I see no emotional appeal for doing so. Why would anyone enjoy this embarrassing and mean process? Because it's funny? Sorry, but where I come from (a civilized little town in New Jersey), that's called bullying.
Sticks and stones may break my bones. And words will ever hurt me.

Ephemeral (Story) update

So there's another update or something.
This is actually the first half of an overarching story... so yeah, enjoy or something.

Ephemeral (Story) Update

Posting the update at six forty in the morning because I can
On a completely irrelevant, I found out ephemeral is pronounced ePHEMeral not epheMERal. Wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable, but now it sounds even cooler :D

Can You Hear Me?

As a continuation of my last anti-bullying post, I think I should probably address another big issue: hiding inside oneself. And not just hiding inside because of bullying; hiding our true selves, hiding what we stand for and what we are just to be puppets of society

One of the biggest problems (in my opinion) in our generation's society is conformity; we're expected to dress like that, behave like this, and if you don't, you're just an outsider. While it's good to know why society has that expectation, what I think is more important to know exactly why we choose to conform. Are we afraid of shame? Or maybe we just want to look cool? Are we then saying that our God-given bodies and spirits are not good enough?
I guess I'm jumping to the cynical conclusion that everyone conforms, which is almost obviously not true. But there are a lot of "unique" people out there that have only a very small cluster of friends. So I think I can rightly assume that for some reason about their mannerisms, they aren't good enough to be accepted.
And another thing - would it kill you to try to accept an outsider? And I don't mean that new kid that shows up and is new and doesn't know what the heck is happening and all that crap. I mean accept someone that doesn't fit. Welcome them. Show them life as a friend. Because really, there's little that sucks more than being isolated.

... So...

Due to insane business there's no Ephemeral update.
How bad is busy? Well... I only wrote about 4 lines for the next part :B
There will be one next week though, I promise!

Expressing Oneself

Art. Music. Maybe screwing around on Photoshop.
I think everyone out there has an inner creative self that wants to be expressed. As human beings, we all have the unique ability to unleash our creative spirit and turn thoughts and ideas into tangible art (or works, depending on what it is).
However, for no reason we should limit this spirit. I mean, you shouldn't abandon your interests if it's something like science or mathematics, but at the same time, the ability to think cognitively and to compute complexities is only one face of the coin (and brain too, if I'm correct). I think artistic expression is not only wonderful, it's something that's inside all of us.
Art is also a way to draw out the emotinos we can't or don't know how to express. A number of song writers have written songs inspired by recent life experiences or emotions - for example, songs like Payphone and It Ends Tonight expresses the hurt and uncertainty people feel after a relationship ends. Literature provides rise of ideas that showcase how people would feel in a particular time period - A Doll's House gives rise to the feminist ideas that were bubbling about at the time. And of course, we can't forget art itself; pictures, paintings, etc. that can showcase the atmosphere a person is living in.
Moral of this post: If you ever feel like you need to vent or feel a bit restless, try doodling a bit. And maybe, if you can, express yourself continually; stay interested in art, and producing it.

Ephemeral (Story) update

It's updated, go read it.
In my opinion, this is probably my best written chapter to date (maybe). I was actually relatively ahead of schedule by about a week, so I took some time to look over and fix up this chapter.

Ephemeral Update!

Yup, it's another one. This one... is a little more interesting.
Link
Sorry for the lack of posts as of late, I haven't felt very philosophical lately.

Ephemeral (The Story) update!

It's Wednesday, that mean the story is updated! Click me!

The Metamorphosis (Novel review)

What happens when we lose our humanness because we become so derided by our ugly side that we cannot be valued?

Franz Kafka's eerie tale, The Metamorphosis describes a traveling salesman that one day wakes up to find himself turned into a giant beetle. While he is, after the initial shock he induced, allowed to remain with the family, his family soon begins to view him less as an actual family member and more of, well, a giant pest. This story poses a very deep question... which is above this paragraph.

I think the story is a pretty good reflection of how critical society can be. When something goes wrong and we "transform" to something ugly, society is quick to turn its back on us, even if the most caring are willing to try to mitigate the pain. We are viewed with disdain; society no longer views us as equals, and they will be more than happy to dispose of us.
It's a good message about social acceptance - or rather, a good critique. While I can't exactly spoil the story to anyone that's interested, I will say that Kafka has certainly done a good job exploring how society reacts to the "transformed". It's a wake-up call to show that we cannot allow ourselves to turn into the same arbiters that condemn the "transformed". We must work to solve the problem, and instead of banishing the "transformed" we must find a way to integrate them so that they feel as human as us. After all, in God's eyes, we're all equals.

Anyway, you viewers should probably try this book. It's got a pretty interesting plot and it has pretty deep philosophical implications. Go check it out! :)

Ephemeral (The Story)

So not only will I be using the blog to make psychological ramblings, I will also be using this as a public outlet for my writing. It can be anything from short stories to poems to parts of a longer writing piece (aka novels)

This particular one is a writing project I started about a week ago. Titled Ephemeral (No, the title has nothing to do with the blog), the story will be produced in chapters every Wednesday KST. If for any reason I miss the deadline, it is because I'm a bad person.

The story will be posted in segments here. I'll also announce updates on the blog. If you want to jump to a part, just use the convenient Command/Control + F key and type the part 1 you want to find.

So, without further ado.

Click me.

Two Lights

And if you find out he's coming home
When I come 'round the corner
I know that it's all right
Just leave me two lights
Two Lights by Five for Fighting

If you don't read between the lines, and maybe get a bit of background knowledge, you probably wouldn't understand this pretty cryptic song.
If you take the lyrics at face value, the song can sound... kind of depressing. "Tear out my heart, feed it to lions," "Show me no mercy, spare me my pride" etc. The words just seem to resonate misery and desperation.

And yet, the chorus always has one choice stanza. One that throws all the sadness out the window and replaces it with a cheery message. It's the one at the top of the page, mind you.
Why do I focus on this song? Disregarding bias (because if bias was the reason, I would not be talking about this song), the song is a pretty good message for hope. The protagonist's son has departed for who knows what. While the protagonist is terrified at the thought of losing his son, he (the protagonist) hopes that everything will be all right, and all he needs is one signal - two lights. Light, the universal symbolism for hope.

The song fights between the downtrodden nature of the man's concern and the repeated rise of hope. It communicates that no matter what happens, we should look for "two lights" because it means everything has finally come together for good.

The Plant is Greener

I remember back in third or fourth grade when I got these magical beans during this event at a museum, and the first thing I wanted to do was watch the beauty grow. Of course, these beans were probably ordinary beans, with the exception of being multicolored and having small text on it that said... stuff. It was something that was probably intended to be a compliment, but I don't remember

We planted the seed and waited for it to grow. It didn't do anything for a week. Then afterwards, a little sprout came up. After only a few more days, the little sprout evolved into a large plant, complete with leaves and it started floating away from the pot.

Plants are an amazing source of fascination of life. They start as a seed, sometimes small, sometimes somewhat large. These seeds look as capable of giving life as a corpse. Yet, miraculously, they grow and evolve into this strong plant that showers the world with its beauty (sometimes... maybe not the corpse flower...)

Try planting a flower seed and watching it grow. It'll be quite a surprise to see it grow from a seed to a flower. In the same way, all people start small; it's up to the nurturing of others to make them strong and amazing.

Wake up and realize what you're saying

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

This maxim, often taught to children, is a parent's way of warning the child that they shouldn't react to provocative names and insults. But names sting. A lot.
Do you really know how much impact your words have? How do you know your harmless joke at the expense of a person is actually harmless to them? How do you know when you casually comment about someone's actions, they don't take it personally?
Society is incredibly naïve about the issues with bullying. As people, we don't do a good job of making sure the harmful words stays inside. And what's worse is that we don't understand how painful a sharp comment stings. Having your reputation stomped on is more painful then any amount of punching, kicking, and shoving.
Why? It demoralizes you. It makes you look like people dehumanize you and think that you're just a toy to throw around for their amusement.
And what do these smart alecks do when they realize you express your hurt about their words? They make things worse. They target you and find more ways to attack you with words. They enjoy your reactions, and think that they have the right to reap your emotions.
Why doesn't anyone do anything about this? Because people are amazingly good at hiding their hurt. Once the initial reaction passes, they stuff their hurt in a little barrel in the back of the attic of the heart, and pretend that the attic isn't there. But the barrel leaves a foul stench, one that lingers. But humans do a good job keeping their heart houses clean and smelling fresh, so that no one knows the biting smell of pain when they visit the heart house.

Sticks and stones break bones, yes. But if we don't realize names will and always will hurt, society can't do anything but just let that pain continue to collect.

Time to spend, time to waste, time to make haste?

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it's called 'present'"

Says that turtle dude from Kung Fu Panda. It's a pretty interesting quote, but it ultimately boils down to that old maxim, "Make the most out of your time."
I guess the way you see it, life is a slot machine. Say you have a test, and your pumped because you finally studied and you're confident you can finally do well and-
And then you get in a car accident and get hospitalized.
Or let's say you're gonna ask out that really cute girl/guy and you don't really know if you can do it and you think she/he will say no and oh my god why am I doing this and-
She says yes. Happy ever for now for you.

Can anyone really predict what life is going to throw at you? Probably not. There's always a random bit of random that can make your life anywhere from somewhat different to oh god its an apocalypse.
Many people hold regrets of the past in their hearts. Many more worry about the future. I say don't worry about it. Just sit back and relax in the now. Back then isn't exactly going to punch you in the face any time soon. Tomorrow, on the other hand, might and you just aren't expecting it.

Hi

So... this blog has my ramblings.
... And whatever interesting stuff I decide to put on here.
... Yeah, I suck at intros.